Create Space to Rest: On Counting Sheep & Sleep Remedies

The first phase of our journey to “Love Mama: Pause and Be Still” is almost complete. We have identified our weaknesses, the areas where we need to grow in health, we have allowed ourselves to be undone, to slow down and make friends with solitude. We are almost ready for detox. But first, we must learn to Create Space to Rest.

The next three legs of this process will be much more productive and lasting, if we make space to rest along the way, rather than wait until the end to try to change these habits. In the past, I created for myself some of the worst sleeping habits. Some of them carried over as a young adult in college, some of them picked up along the way with newborn schedules, middle of the night feedings, ten years of pregnancies and nursing demands. Most young moms laugh when you tell them to rest or nap, that was me. “What is sleep?” or “I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”

Yes, there are seasons that demand sacrifice, most of them in the infant and toddler stages, potty training and stomach bugs and nightmares. But even in those seasons there are moments of rest and attitudes of rest that are available to us.

Sometimes rest looks like saying “yes” when someone offers a meal, when your husband suggests you go to bed early, when your friend offers to keep the kids for a datenight. Sometimes rest looks like saying “no” when you have already given enough, when you shouldn’t be volunteering for one more thing, or when you know that show on tv isn’t worth missing another hour sleep.

Sometimes rest looks like taking a nap when the kids miraculously sleep early or Sunday afternoon when they’re all napping. Sometimes it means doing the “responsible thing”, setting alarms and sleep schedules and sticking to them. It means time management and accountability.

If you’re truly unsatisfied with your health, with the way you’re living your life, the patterns and habits you’ve created, you’d be wrong to continue doing things the same way and expect things to ever change.

I know about resisting rest. I was the poster child for the seemingly invincible mama. I would pride myself on my ability to function on so little sleep, and loved proving people wrong. “Tell me I can’t.” I get it, you have the world to conquer and 24 hours to do it. But some day it will catch up with you, and your body will choose rest, one way or another. My mom used to say, “either you take a sabbath, or your body will find a way to take one for you.”

Here’s the thing, we must understand WHY we are resisting rest. When I search myself, I usually find I am at conflict in one of these areas:

1. I don’t feel fulfilled in what I’ve accomplished during the day, it lacked value, meaning or appreciation.

2. My spirit is not at peace because I haven’t fed my soul or been obedient in a step of faith.

3. My mind is full of the to-do list, I’m disappointed with my work or productivity.

4. My creative juices are flowing and I haven’t had any creative outlets today.

5. I need to connect with my husband.

6. Worry or anxious thoughts keep me awake if I haven’t surrendered them or chosen to fully entrust them to the Lord.

7. I am physically uncomfortable, pregnant or sick.

8. I am not tired, or I don’t feel tired.

Can you identify with any of these? This is why I resisted rest for so long!

But let me assure you friend, make rest your priority, and it will treat you well. At this point of my life, after the season of hibernation my body took last year, it shaped me into this restful person, and I don’t think I’ll ever be the same. I can honestly say, I love rest, it is a valuable priority to me and it has changed my waking hours. I want to help you find that kind of rest, the kind you love.

To start: here are some no-brainer solutions to these very real concerns:

1. I don’t feel fulfilled in what I’ve accomplished during the day, it lacked value, meaning or appreciation. During your time of daily solitude, make a purpose statement and recite it to yourself each day. In this stage of life, sacrificing much for our families, we must remember the overall goal and purpose in the tedious, mundane tasks that lie in front of us. The dishes, the laundry, the schoolwork, the discipleship of these tiny people, we must remember the “why” behind our efforts, and address it daily. Ask God to show you the purpose and value behind your work. Remember to show appreciation to those around you, as it will create an environment for affirmation and gratitude.
2. My spirit is not at peace because I haven’t fed my soul or been obedient in a step of faith. Each morning, I have to feed myself the Word of God, and admit my need for Him. If I don’t surrender my day to Him and allow Him to lead me, my heart feels restless and unsettled. 
3. My mind is full of the to-do list, I’m disappointed with my work or productivity. Time management has always been a challenge for me. I know what I ought to do, and at times either procrastinate, or choose the more “fun” option. Make a to-do list each morning, give yourself time limits and stick to them. Give yourself margin and buffer and grace at night when you can’t do it all. Accept what you’ve done and pray for self discipline to do better tomorrow.
4. My creative juices are flowing and I haven’t had any creative outlets today. We must make space to be creative. We will talk about this more in an upcoming topic. It doesn’t matter if it’s 15 minutes or 3 hours, if you’re a creative personality, it is like breathing, and you must make it priority each day to survive. Don’t wait until the world is asleep. There are moments of creative genius when the sun is down, but I find that I am much more creative when my mind has had rest and clarity to translate the ideas to reality. Rest that creative right brain and it will produce beautiful things in the morning.
5. I need to connect with my husband. It is tempting to let the kids have their way at bedtime, but sticking to a routine and strict bedtime, allows for connecting time with our husbands. We need this time physically, emotionally, and mentally, to connect and share and talk and argue and compromise and problem solve and digest the day together. About two years ago, we started praying together at night, it’s a beautiful thing that keeps us rooted and on the same page. Also, we’re both big babies who love to be pampered, massages are an awesome way to rest, and all the love that follows. Of course, you can’t have all this great connecting time if you don’t go to bed together. Go to bed together.
6. Worry or anxious thoughts keep me awake if I haven’t surrendered them or chosen to fully entrust them to the Lord. After the house settles and all is quiet, when we can finally hear ourselves think again, we can be tempted to worry or stress over things out of our control. I used to lie in bed and process and over-analyze every topic in every direction until I made myself dizzy. Cast your cares on Him. Pray about everything, and leave it there. Surrender is a very restful state to be.
7. I am physically uncomfortable, pregnant or sick. I can totally relate to this, there were so many aches and pains I felt last year as I went through treatment and all kinds of herxheimer reactions. Not to mention four pregnancies isn’t comfortable to sleep through. There are some great comfort/sleep remedies I will list below that will hopefully bring you some relief along the way. 
8. I am not tired, or I don’t feel tired. We drink too much coffee eh? Cutting caffeine close to bedtime can be an easy fix, try replacing your evening cup with a cup of hot tea. Screen time before bed can also be distraction, try putting your phone on a charger out of reach from your nightstand, it will also help draw you out of bed in the morning if you use your phone as an alarm. One more thing that I hate to admit. I have found exercise will wear you out just enough to send you running to your pillow. Wear yourself out, even if its just a few minutes before climbing into bed. 

Okay, so we’ve addressed some of these underlying issues, lets talk about some sleep remedies. There are all kinds of oils and supplements you can take to aid in sleep. I have not tried them all, but there are some things that I have adopted into my routine and love them.

Melatonin- friends of mine recommended this to me for my daughter, it is natural and you can get it in supplement form over the counter, this definitely intrigued me, but then I read about the benefits of Tart Cherry Juice, how it triggers a response in your body to produce more melatonin naturally. Now we drink it just before we go up for bed, and let the countdown begin. It is pricey, but effective.

Hot tea– Chamomile or Herbal tea is a sweet way to end the night. I add a little lemon and honey, take a hot mug upstairs with me, and sip it while I wind down in bed.

Bedtime Reading- my husband has always encouraged me to read before bed. We’re like two little old people with our books leaning on our stack of pillows. It is very relaxing to read and let your eyes slowly shut on you. Make sure your reading material is positive or inspirational, or it could have the opposite effect.

The Pillow- I didn’t know how this could be a game changer. When I got sick, my husband started hunting for the most comfortable materials. He found these pillows that are undoubtedly from paradise. Cariloha, a brand that makes Bamboo products, makes heavenly pillows. My favorite one is a quality charcoal memory foam pillow, that has a cold side and a warm side. The cool side is made of a gel-top, keeping you cool as you drift to sleep, but also has a soft, warm side for those cooler nights. Guys, this pillow will cost you a buck, but its worth it.

Blankets- I have heard great things about the new weighted blankets. I get the same effect from layering thick heavy blankets. On our bed, I keep a lightweight down comforter, an oversized plush throw, and a heavy quilted cover. We do use a basic fitted sheet, but don’t keep the flat sheet on the bed, because we find it gets too tangled as we turn and becomes a nuisance to our sleep trying to keep it straightened out. For extra chilly nights, or if my body is feeling achey, I keep a small heated micro fleece blanket within reach, which is basically climbing into a warm cloud hug. haha! Get one of those.

Soaking- A good soak in the tub is very soothing, its a great time to unload your thoughts and prayers and decompress your day before bed. Even a good book or devotional while you’re soaking, kills two birds with one stone and you’re ready to melt into bed when you’re done. I’ll talk more about baths in another post.

Journaling- keep a notepad or journal on your nightstand, as you read or fall asleep, you can immediately jot down any to-do list items for tomorrow, any prayer requests, creative ideas, anything that could send your mind on a rabbit trail, so you can record it and forget it, freeing your mind for rest.

Prayer/Scripture Memorization-  Sometimes you just need to vent all those cares and requests to Jesus before your spirit can rest. Praying about the things on your heart can release your mind from worry. Try counting your blessings instead of counting sheep. List out all the things from the day that you’re grateful for, and all the things that you don’t have to worry about. When my kids come to me at night unable to sleep, I always direct them to Psalm 23, The Lord is my shepherd, they’ve memorized it, so they can repeat it as many times as they need until they find rest. Sometimes, when the mind races or the worry too great, it’s best just to fall asleep reading the Word.

Create a restful environment- if you have a running list of things to do or projects to finish in your master bedroom, go ahead and address those. You don’t need to spend a lot of money decorating, but create a beautiful space where you want to be. A space where  you feel you have the freedom to unwind without anything hanging over your head, don’t bring work into this space, or clutter, keep it a place of retreat.

What about you? What sleep remedies do you love?

*Be Intentional: Are you getting the best rest of your life? Why not? What changes do you need to make moving forward? Lets work through some of these sleep solutions and find a rhythm of rest.

Dear Lord- Help us to trust you with the hours in our day, help us to use them wisely so that we can rest well at night. Help us to trust that you will cover what we can not, and give us the wisdom to prioritize our 24 hours. You gave us the night, you gave us the gift of rest, help us to embrace it. In Jesus Name. Amen

Love, Mama